2001-12-30

sometimes its just work putting in an entry into this thing. and its been a while, by my standards; but im sitting here thinking 'why?'.

but im not gonna erase this and quit, im not going to just drift into work , listening to the radio's top 100 of 2001; im going to make my imprint for today. ...

but then britney's on with "im a - slaaaave for you" and im sitting here groovin in my chair, and yami's singing along cause its so good.

today my mom and sister are coming to nyc, and will want to see a show on broadway. only trouble is, broadway's packed with throngs of people, shopping, gawking, buying up all the tickets', taking pictures. not that there's anything wrong with throngs, mind you. i just don't know if i want to walk them around in this pre new years madness.

well, kelli will be here soon, too. i miss her. maybe things will just work out.

"stop worrying. breathe."

i tell myself these things over and over, whenever i notice how wound up i may be getting in some situation.

i figured out some thing the other day. i've learned a great many different languages in my life so far. ways of expressing myself. whenever i meet a new kind of person that i don't really understand, i take the time (and it may take a long time), to pick up on that person's ways. i know the language of the gruff day-laborer. i've mastered the intonations and attitudes. or the language of the nerd. or the jock. the open out of the closet gay chelsea boy. the discoteque player. the barhound. the latino chica, the whatever else you want.

im not like amazing at it, like houndini or the amazing ventriloquist or whatever, but im pretty good, is all im saying; at picking up on people's means and ways, and copying them.

enough about me. happy new year. its good to reflect and have this festive time to relax. i love this time of year. its cold as hell outside.

kelli: i can't wait to see you.