2001-11-27

dear old greedy:

well, i think of that movie about and titled "Kafka", and the opening scenes of the crazy, burning writer at the magazine, or editorial house, or whatever cookie cutter job he was working at. Like chained to his desk with an ankle clamp, and typing, just typing, just working. but then making stories when the work day was over.

to write or to make art or whatever is 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration, right? but to have a life and make art is like 80% life, 20% make art. at least that's what i've gathered. and of course you can gather enough steam now, to just coast for a while a coupla years on down the road.

but then you could find yourself in a cycle that repeats every year or so, where you are just working some dull job, at the bottom of the feeder; only to take a coupla months off to go travel, or write or whatever.

its like this, instead of moving up the corporate ladder, we move side to side. At the bottom of the pyramid. with all the temps and college grad rookies. until we're in our 30's and we luck into something that we really feel comfortable with.

me, when i was working in the bethlehem metal shop, getting money to go spend a semester at greece, i realized i had like no climbing ability. no 'verticality' in the business, as they say. well. thats the thing, do you want to be vertical within a specific field, or editorial position, or whatever? Or do you want to stay horizontal, that is, remain with the bottom - feeders, going from job to job; building up your resume quantitatively.

Well, in India, where the caste system rules, this is the lifestyle of 1 billion people. you are born into the position that you have for the rest of your life, with a certain amount of classes above you, and a certain amount below you.

or you could just come to the realization that all of that doesn't have to matter so much, you can become your Own ladder to climb. you can find your own horizons. Just being a human being is hard these days because most of us are actually cyborgs most of the time. That is , we rely on each other, and on systems, automations, self-guided programs; creatively, we are turned off, while our sensors and warning devices guide us through life.

Being creative is the easiest thing in the world. I think. Maybe. You just have to ignore all the naysayers, and all the naysaying in You.

this is enough pep talking.

People have to work. If this job is acceptable then accept it. If you have any doubts in your mind, then don't take it. Hopefully the economy won't turn you into a drunken louse.