2001-05-16

stirred, and shaken. both one and the same. are you guys out there getting tired of my so effervescing attitude? My whimsical, all-over-the- place writing style in this diary? well, guess what. too bad. its here to stay! i can't help it but be who i am. and i am at work. and i am not doing any work. the fools (ahem) other guys will work till their appointed hour, and then hang out and talk about how distressing the job is, and then run to catch the train.

Me? im not distressed about the job. because i know what i deserve, as a human, and as an employee. and i deserve a break to tell you all about the loveliness that's going down...

no, im not even looking in the 'to do' boxes tonight, with an hour left to go, i'm letting it for the night crew, baby!

old greedy's declaration of project and self is good, invigorating. i love him. period.

im going through a similar thing, right now. i've spent so much time hedging my bets, making declarations -- and not backing them up. you know,,,, going on and on about what i will do, or what i can do, and then disappearing and the promise fades away. i just pretend that you all forgot it.

but of course you didn't. nobody forgets anything, really. in the end, the subconscious is like a tape recorder that's alway on. everything is remembered by the society and the world and your community, that you do. Every little nuance. even if what you do all day is as non-eventful as filling up office water jugs. people remember it.

i go on about extremes. i want to be extreme. (homer simpson: "To the Extreme!")

Billy Joel: I don't know why I go to extremes.

there's this annoying thing about Billy Joel. He can do it all ...

so i'm not working. the day has been full, and it is finally drawing to an end. I can see the moment when i slip into slumber soon approaching. not tired, no , but if this day was a lifetime, i would be about 70 years old. time to start considering religion, no? the after-life. tomorrow.

tomorrow will begin the huge, much anticipated, flagillated, hyped "Art Frenzy" of Long Island City. I've got small, personal plans to disperse propoganda about myself and sell myself to the average joe as a crazy, over the top, do anything artist.

("by the way, what is an artist?

signed,

really confused")

The cat has been transferred back to my possesion. it likes me a lot and purrs when i pet it. it jumps on the love seat when ever i sit down in it, and i can tell that it likes to spend 'quality time' with me. which is cool, cuz that's what having a pet is all about. i guess Vinod never gave it any attention, that's why it's so frenetic and jumpy.

Lev (cat's last petter) left.

say that 10 times fast

ok, so it isn't that hard.

any way, i'm thinking of chilling here at work till like 2 in the am, making flyers for myself, on the company's photocopy machine.

time to get crackin'!

(hope to see you soon, jake!)

ps. everyone in chicago and indiana and pennslyvania are invited to new york for this weekend. come on, it'll be fun. Jake's gonna be there!