2006-10-28

Ever since I moved to Richmond, I feel like I've had a weight in my head. Something that isn't supposed to be there, but is nonetheless. People talk about a weight on your back, or on your shoulders; well it's kind of like that. But I feel like I'm in a bit of a fog.
When I arrived here, I felt a quick rush of freedom, as if I was starting new, in a new place. Starting school again. But you never really get a restart. You bring baggage with you. School is a magical place when your in your early 20's. But when your 30, it seems a little tainted, a little inaccessable. And this is ok, because of course life goes on, we grow up.
I'm having trouble getting a clear headed active art process going. This week was terrible, just depressing. I feel like I was useless all week. And when I reflect on it, I feel similarly about the last 6 years of my life.
But ah, this is depress - o - talk. I can convince myself of anything, even misery, if I set my head to it. The laundry awaits, as does Baudelaire. (who I will read this afternoon in hopes of bringing me out of this funk...)