2000-06-18

i bought a pappazon chair today, and thus the name. What can i say, I really didn't spend too much time thinking up a good name. already wish i could change it. But them's the breaks, time to move on.

Life is bursting at the seams. When clarity comes, its seems so obvious that its glorious to be alive, and breathing. You wander if you're the same person that's been through all the stuff you've been through in your life. all the stupid things you've done.

In honor of Father's day, (today) i think of my (Step-)dad saying: "Someday's you just feel ancient, y'know?". My grand father may be on his death bed, literally. Right now He lays in the hospital, with kidney tumors, and he pisses blood. My grandmother has simultaneously come down with Alziemers. we wonder what to do with her. It's a double - whammy.

I am sort of in a stage where im doing the whole prodigal- son thing, abandoning my home and family. But im not really off partying it up or spending all of my inheritance. No, in this case, there's little inheritance to speak of. (All intangibles, i guess). And parties stopped interesting me in high school.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to go out clubbing and dancing all night, but im just looking for the right people to do it with.

And im not really abandoning my parents and the home. I'm visiting tommorow as soon as i get off of work. (that's where i am now, the night shift). I thought of playing a song for my dad on the ol' guitar for father's day. I even planned it out and learned it pretty good -- "love me tender" by elvis. Just because the old fogey thinks elvis is the best. But i chickened out in the end and Decided it was too cheasy an idea.

I am reading Thomas Pynchon's MASON AND DIXON right now, its a great story. In the tradition of story telling. No real plot, just a celebration of the act of telling stories for the story's sake. Pynchon is some kind of wierdo, to have the demonstrable concentration and keenness that he does. All the characters do are go to bars and drink and swap stories. Its set in the pre-revolutionary Pennsylvania-Maryland area. G. Washington smokes weed, and Benjamin Franklin is a loon.

This Diary is here for the public. Why? Because im a pretentious character myself who thinks the things i observe are Notable. (don't worry, i balance the hubris with a great tradition in self-deprication).

I am into love, art, life, construction, engineering, thinking, poems, selfless devotion, beauty/ugliness, surprizes, irony, travel, hypothetical situations, sex fantasies, religions, synchronicity, yoga, painting, performance, excersize, muse-ick, heavy metal hi school memories, good food, etc.

If you are like me, or even more likely, if you are not,

then send me a little letter. Sure I'll respond.

--David